Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Keeping a Marriage Together

Soulful Vibes today reported that Will Smith has found the perfect way to keep his marriage together: Rule out divorce as an option.

While this is a great step, it is not the only, nor the best, method. Things I would rate along with, or higher, than ruling out divorce:

  1. Don't get married until you are sure you are ready to be with one person and only one person for the rest of your life. If you aren't sure you are ready, you will always be wondering "what if" and that wondering may lead you to wandering.
  2. Ensure what you feel is love, not lust, for the person you intend on marrying. Lust is immediate, while love lasts. Lust requires immediate satisfaction, but can't last without constant refresh, which is why many relationships based on physical interactions fail when the physical interactions reduce in frequency.
  3. Keep it fresh by doing new things with your spouse. Getting into a rut, doing the same old things all the time, will cause you to take each other for granted because you know exactly how each other will act and react. Instead, try something different, to see a new side of each other; experiment and experience different things together.


Renee said...

WHile I agree that it is important to try new things with your spouse, there is something comforting and wonderful about familiarity. I like knowing how my partner is going to react in a given situation. There is a dependability there that is lacking so much in life in general.

Charles Patterson said...

Familiarity is one of the many benefits of being married, however, doing the same things every day can lead to taking one another for granted. Doing something new and out of the ordinary can bring unexpected joy.

As an example, for our daughter's last birthday we took everyone horseback riding, something we have never done as a family. We all had a great time and found it was a shared joy for the whole family.

Nabeel said...

I think the first point is invalid. you can never know if you can spend the rest of your life with that person until you get married. The other choice is living as BF and GF ... but that sucks and is not acceptable in many cultures. But just to let you know, the divorce rate in countries such as Pakistan, India etc. is 0.2 percent. People live happily there and have large families. It's only here in the U.S. that the divorce rate is 52%

cjinspector said...

I am not married and far from an expert on this arrangement. However my view is if people desire to keep their marriage together as an joyful success. It seems clearly wise to consult the One who established the marriage arrangement and follow his direction faithly in loyal love.
That may be the ulimate solution. Although there are problems with every marriage. There also can be more lasting happiness, stability and peace. I wish every couple well in their objective in keeping their marriage together.

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